A Tug of War

I’ve been thinking a lot about tension. Torn between two things. Twisted. Braided like a rope. A tug of war. Pulled in opposite directions. Stuck between two trains of thought. An emotional version of the splits.

This is a theme in Scripture just as much as it is in our daily lives right now. There is so much tension in our world today. Opposites don’t really seem to attract each other anymore—extremist groups with extreme ideas. Conspiracy theories. Finger pointing. Keyboard warriors. Unfollowing. Blocking.

It builds and builds, and there is nothing you can do. You are hearing voices from opposite sides coming at you, voices of people doing everything they can to convince you their way is the right way.

What about tension in your spirit? Have you felt that lately? I know I have. I feel it all the time. Someone much more articulate than I has described tension as living between the not anymore and the not yet. And from where I sit, it’s brutal.

Another clever person put it this way: in the meantime is mean time. I heard someone say that when I was a teenager, and I never forgot it. It is a broad way of describing waiting, wondering, hoping, praying, thinking (and overthinking). Living in the meantime means you’re kind of stuck between waiting and hoping. You’re more sensitive, more annoyed, more likely to lash out and project your feelings onto other and maybe even misdirect your anger to someone completely unassuming. So in the meantime, maybe you’re mean too.

One of my favorite examples of this kind of tension in the Bible is in the 9th chapter of Mark. A man brought his son to Jesus. His son was mute, demon possessed and seizing all of the time. He was desperate for a change in his son’s life and body. “I brought him to Your disciples but they couldn’t help.” (Yikes, what a bad Yelp review for Jesus’ disciples!) Eugene Peterson so aptly captures the tension in the man’s heart in the Message translation: “If you can do anything, please do it. Have a heart and help us.”

What follower of Christ hasn’t prayed that kind of prayer? Such a real, raw human moment. If. If you can do anything, please do it. This man wants an answer so badly. He is hoping. He is desperate.

Here’s the thing about Jesus: He knew that. He knew this man had no other hope but Him. Jesus said to him. “If? There are not if’s among believers! Anything can happen.” The man cried, “I believe; help my unbelief!” This verse has become a common prayer in my life. It perfectly sums up living in the tension of trusting God. I believe but I also kind of don’t.

By the way, Jesus healed the boy by casting out the demon inside of him. I highly recommend reading the entire story in Mark 9:14-29. It is edge-of-your-seat action, and it all happened in front of a large crowd that had gathered around Jesus.

I remember my dad preaching a sermon on this one time, and he said “How did Jesus help the man’s unbelief? He did what he asked Him to do!” I love that. That man had an encounter with God that day that he could always look on and remember as the time the Lord came through. It was a touchstone he could always reference when he needed to call on the Lord to answer a prayer. It was a faith-building moment.

What are the touchstones of answered prayers your life? Can you look back at a certain situations and see His hand? There are times this doubtful tension creeps in, and we start wondering if God can do what we have asked Him to do. I’m so guilty of this. I fall into that habit of doubt more times than I want to admit. But I have started making an effort to remember that God has rescued, healed, answered, helped, protected me throughout my life. He has done the same for you. Learn to remember His goodness.